Decibel Dilemma

Hi angel and devil,

I’m in my final year of study at Uni and I live on campus.  My next door neighbour, 'Liz', is loud.  Particularly when she’s picked up some guy which happens about 4 times a week – and I don’t care, that’s fine, except she’s LOUD!—and is ‘loud’ into the early hours.  At other times she listens to her stereo or TV...also on LOUD.  And it’s usually some music that’s heavy on the sub-woofer to the point where it shakes the light fittings in my room.  When she returns home, she leaves her car idling in the car park, with the stereo up full ball and the vibrations from her suped up car rattles my window pane from 4 floors up.  She doesn’t have a neighbour on the other side of her room, so no one else knows my pain. 

I’ve asked her many times to be considerate, and the residential advisor has also told her to be quiet.  This lasts about 3 days and then restarts.  I’m worried the RA thinks I’m a whinger or over reacting.  I’ve put in an application to transfer to a different room but the wait list is huge and I can’t afford to live off campus.

Please help me.  I’m going insane here.

Sincerely,

Silence is Stolen

Devil:

Hi there Silence,

Wow...that is some red hot crap you're dealing with there.  It's inspiring (for me, anyway) I'm thinking of using that scenario next time I'm on the 3rd circle...anyway...I'm here to uh..help I suppose.

Well then.  What to do...?

There are many things you can do here, but if you can secure your own band of ninjas, that’d help your cause.

Operation 1:  Smelly

I’m assuming ‘Liz’ has to do laundry at some point right?  When Liz next goes to the laundry, figure out which dryer she’s using.  Get your ninjas to cause a distraction (it’s uni, so just get someone to shout “free beer”).  Open her dryer and find the socks.  Empty as many cans of tuna into as many socks as you can -- and tie the ends.  If there aren’t any socks, find a sturdy t-shirt and do the same.  Repeat as necessary. 

Operation 2:  love struck

Assume the identity of someone she’s slept with and has discarded.  Leave Liz a cow’s heart in a box with a note that says “you broke my heart” on it.  Might disturb her enough to consider who she takes home, and how often.

Operation 3:  entertain me

She has a car...and a suped up car you say...?  Well, well, well...

Gather ye ninjas and get as much margarine and popcorn seeds as you can get your mits on.  Go on a night mission (ninjas are always prepared for a night mission, you won’t need to tell them to prepare).  Get ninjas to spread as much margarine as possible all over the car.  Ensure the door handles are fully caked up and smear as much as you can on all the windows and the wing mirrors, headlights and in general on the front of the car.  (This will mean maximum bug collection when driving.)  When your done with the marge, sprinkle popcorn seeds as you will.  If it’s hot the next day, Liz might get some free popcorn! 

The beauty part about this is, a car wash just won’t cut it.  You need hot water from my part of town to get the margarine off.

Hope your operation/s are a success!

-D.

Angel:

Dear Silence,

Inconsiderate neighbours can really make your life a living hell, can't they?  It's disappointing that the Residential Advisor hasn't been able to solve the problem, and I hear what you're saying about not wanting to look like you're being difficult.

Since you say it's not really an option for you to move out, we have to look at ways of resolving the problems on campus.

First up I think you need to gather hard evidence.  This will show people that you’re not just a whinger.  So, you could get your phone out and video record the noise from Liz’s room and your light fittings shaking from it.

Also, keep an anal retentive style diary of every time the noise is too loud.  This might be annoying to do, but it’s practical.  Another annoying, yet practical piece of advice:  Track down whatever the rules for living on your campus are.  There are probably rules about acceptable noise levels.

Present your evidence to the RA – use power point presentation if necessary.  If your RA doesn’t think it’s a problem, ask if they would be ok with swapping rooms.  If this is not to the taste of the RA, advise they have two weeks to figure it out or you’re going to go to their boss, their bosses boss and probably some trashy current affairs program.

If this doesn’t work...see advice above.

Love, Angel