Run to the Hills

Dear Angel and Devil,

I just got my first job after high school and it's in a call centre.  It's pretty draining work, but I love the atmosphere and my colleagues are loads of fun.  Well, maybe except for one.  "Natalie" is one of those older mother type women who is dedicated to her job and whatever and lovely to customers and to me and everyone else...except she's got some really strange, and sort of icky habits.  I don't know where to start, but I suppose I noticed things were odd about Natalie when I was eating lunch in the staff room.  Being a larger lady, she has a larger appetite... But I saw her polish off a whole BBQ chicken...and then drink the juices out of the bag.  She doesn't wear a bra either and I don't think she washes her clothes or hair with any frequency.  I saw her picking her nose and eating it at her desk and she puts customers on mute to huck loogies into her bin.  Other colleagues have noticed these things also and talk about her behind her back saying things like she's the way she is because she's from the mountains and comes down from the hills every morning to come to work.  Natalie really is a very nice person, except for the gross things she does.  My question is:  Should I tell her people are talking behind her back about her personal hygiene and general weirdness, or just let her be?

Sincerely

Not from the Hills



Angel

Dear Not-From-the-Hills,

I feel so sorry for this motherly-but-eccentric colleague, but I also feel sorry for those working within ear shot of her loogie-hucking ways.

Clearly some of Natalie's behaviour is anti-social, and is affecting her relationships with co-workers.  If this is your concern, you shouldn't talk to her about it, but rather, bring it up with your supervisor.  If you do this, you need to separate her anti-social behaviour from her eccentricities.  So for example, I don't think you should raise the fact that she doesn't wear a bra, or drinks chicken juice. 

Before you approach your supervisor, you should also consider that they are likely already aware of Natalie's behaviour, and you might look intolerant or bitchy for raising it.

And, you should also have a think about whether your supervisor is going to be able to change Natalie's behaviour.  If not, is it really worth bringing it up?

In the meantime, I'd suggest focusing on Natalie's good qualities - you say she's motherly and really nice - and every time you hear a colleague bitching about her, maybe you could mention these qualities, and encourage your colleagues to be a little tolerant.

I realise I'm saying this from my 'fluffy white cloud', and it must be much harder to put up with when you're stuck in a cubicle taking calls from irate customers.  But I still think that ultimately, Natalie is not going to change, so my advice is to 'let her be'.

Love,

Angel


Devil

Hi-de-ho, Not from the Hills,

Your problem is perplexing indeed.  My initial reaction was that this Natalie might be an actual Troll.  The nose picking, logie hucking, chicken juice drinking and lack of hygiene all point in that general direction...but the notion this grot was from the mountains really cemented the Troll thing in my mind.  But then I thought 'but she's able to hold a conversation and be nice to people'.  And these are things Trolls cannot do.  Perhaps she is part Troll? 

But what to do?

In my mind you have a few options...

#1  Tell the truth

Go at it.  Tell the woman all her faults and failings.  Write a list even, and tick each one off as you go.  Hey, while you're on the truth bender, why not take it a step further and give Natalie a leaflet for a fake 'Troll Support Group'?  You could cover the leaflet with things like "Do you harvest your nose like an orchard and eat it like so much forbidden fruit?  Do you drink chicken juice and let it dribble down your chin?  Is washing your clothes a bridge too far?  We can help you get out from under that bridge at Troll Support!"

#2  Passive Aggressive
If you're not one for confrontation and are too chicken (haha) to tell the truth, then a barrage of notes is the way to go.  Everyone loves a passive aggressive note or ten in the office!  My suggestion is to start at her desk with a sticky note about loogie hucking and nose picking.  You could buy her a box of tissues or a handkerchief (but I do NOT recommend the latter, those things are straight from hell anyway and if she can't wash her clothes regularly then a handkerchief is just going to become a whole world of gross!) and stick the note on the nice gifty.  It should say "these are for nose leavings", and hey if you have the time, mock up an instructional leaflet for nose blowing.

Perhaps a sticky note on her bin saying "No loogies" would also be of use.  In the ladies bathroom, pop a post it up saying "I shampoo...do you?" You could put another note in the staff room saying "No drinking chicken juice in this room."  You might need to put these notes up in every other room in the building too.  A big note on the front door saying "have you WASHED today?...If not, please go home and do so."  If this doesn't draw her attention to her shortcomings, it will certainly draw everyone elses attention to her shortcomings.  Win win as far as I can see.

#3  Distance
Get a different job.  Do you know what the 1st circle of hell is made up of?  Call centres.  That's right.  You're actually living hell for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.  You sure you want to be doing that?  Remove yourself from the environment and you won't have to deal with the problem.  Or anybody elses for that matter. 

So there's my advice.  Take it or leave it!

-D.