Your Place or Mine...?

To A&D,

Looking for a practical answer and hoping you can help. My boyfriend and I both own our own units, mortgages, furniture and pets, we are considering moving in together but I am unsure of how this would work being he wants to live at his house and I want to live at mine. The are both centrally located to our jobs although my unit is closer to good restaurants, shops and night spots, his is quieter but has a bigger yard. We both live alone so housemates isn't an issue but I don't know how we'll ever come to an agreement about location and finances.

From

Don't want to get ripped off or sit on his tacky couch.



Angel


Dear Couch Hater,

Welcome to Planet Compromise! I actually think the main issue here is finances - you'll both need to be level headed about this, so if the worst happens, at least neither of you are arguing about money. This means figuring out how you'll each contribute to living expenses in a way that's 'fair' for both of you.

As for where you decide to live, I suggest that you and your boyfriend each write lists of pros and cons for living in your place and living in his place. It might be easier to compromise than you think.

Alternatively....you could move into a place that you can both agree to, with each of you renting out your own places.

Hope this helps!

Love, Angel


Devil

Zdravzvyutye, Tacky Couch Loather,

Oh have a cry would you? Sheesh! "poor me and my poor boyfriend who both own our own homes! wah wah wah!"

What a pansy arsed dilemma.

Alright, you need to sabotage his house. Lets start with the garden. I'm going to assume you both hate gardening.

Now, I don't know what kind of climate you live in, but bamboo is a pretty rad plant. And according to wikipedia, there are many varieties and bamboo can grow in pretty much any climate. Hell, I got me some bamboo down here! There's a type of bamboo that can grow a whole metre (that's 39 inches for you imperial f*ckers) in just one day. I recommend you get yourself some of that variety. Plant it. It'll be like jack and the magic bean stalk but without the giant, golden goose or anything to do with beans. At any rate, I'd like to see someone try and get the lawn mower on to that sh!t. And from my experience, bamboo is pretty difficult to get rid of once it takes hold. Problem solved!

...Unless boyfriend likes his new giant bamboo forest...In which case, you're kinda screwed.

So, you need to make him hate his house. Buy yourself some ant farms and release the blighters into the wild. And by 'wild' I mean, the house. He might get insect spray out and kill them, but what a shock when they keep coming back! Even after several trips from the exterminator! Oh, and don't just get an ordinary ant farm, get one that has big ants, and ones that bite. If you're not squeamish, you can also try this trick with cockroaches. And hey, you could even try and plant an infestation in that tacky couch of his. Two birds with one cockroach infestation. That's what I call efficiency.

But if you still can't convince him, I say withhold sex till he moves in with you. Or just dump him & enjoy the awesomeness of your own house.

enjoy!

-D.