Dear Angel & Devil,
A quandary if you will: I love my new boyfriend to death (not quite literally but close at times) but his mother is driving me insane! She only has boys. All of them are in their thirties and she hasn't yet cut the apron strings. She does their washing, ironing, picks up packages and even cuts their hair. She's a nice enough lady but she's also over protective and when I'm around her, I feel like can never do anything right! I think she feels threatened by me but she has no need to be - I don't want to do my boyfriend's washing and ironing and I'm sure she doesn’t want to share his bed! (well here's hoping!!!) What should I do?
Love Mama's boy's girl.
ANGEL
Dear MBG,
What's with these women? I had always thought that the purpose of parenting is to prepare your children for the big wide world, and equip them to one day be able to survive without you. This means teaching them skills like how to wipe your own bottom, tie your shoelaces, and operate a washing machine. I sometimes wonder whether women who treat their grown sons like little boys are in some way trying to maintain control over them.
I think that might be what's going on here, and that's why you're picking up a vibe that BF's mother feels threatened by you - you're challenging her 'control' of her son. I wish I could give you a quick fix here, but you're dealing with 30+ years of Mama's Boy Indoctrination. Maybe as time goes on, she'll see you as less of a threat. But maybe, she'll become the Mother-in-Law from hell. Something to think about.
Something else to think about: you say you don't want to do your boyfriend's washing and ironing, but what happens if you guys move in together? Are you going to have to train him to do basic domestic tasks, or is he going to expect you to do these things for him?
So, I reckon the mother is a lost cause, but there's still hope for the son. Encourage him to move out of home, stand on his own feet, and domesticate himself. Problem (mostly) solved!
Love Angel.
DEVIL
Yo mama's boy's girl,
First of all I gotta tell you, going out with a boy who lets his mother do his washing for him is not a good sign at all. What a lazy SOB. I think you should seriously consider punishing him by making him do all of your ironing etc to make up for the ironing he hasn't had to do all this time. (If he winds up in hell, i know what he'll be doing for eternity...hehe)
So I thought long and hard about this and you only have one option: Destruction.
Operation Destruction:
So...Boyfriends mother thinks you can't do anything right? Well, stop trying! Why would you want this deranged washerwoman to like you anyway?
If there's anything I like better than sabotaging a steam iron, it's washing machine sabotage. Also, dryer and clothes line sabotage are pretty fun too.
#1 Iron sabotage
All steam irons require water, right? empty the iron of water and replace with any non standard kitchen liquid. Now I haven't tried any of the following, but I'm pretty sure you'd ruin both clothes and iron if the following were emptied into the water chamber of a steam iron:
- BBQ sauce
- vodka (what a waste - but may have added benefit of catching on fire)
- olive oil
- red wine
- honey
#2 Washing machine sabotage
The sabotage will depend on the type of detergent used. For washing powder, empty half the contents of washing powder into the bin and replace with cornflour. For liquid detergent, empty half the contents and replace with treacle.
If you have access to the washing machine after a load has finished, empty some super glue into the load. Laughter guaranteed!
#3 Washing line sabotage
Crazy glue pegs either to themselves or to the washing line. Nothing could be simpler. Or, saw through washing line till it's on it's last threads (this could be difficult for those contending with a wire washing line, but with a bit of creativity and some bulk cutters, all will be well.) The weight of the washing will snap the line and all those cornfloured and glued clothes will need to be re-washed after falling in the dirt. Aw.
#4 Dryer sabotage
Put a metric butt load of dry sand, dirt, wall paper glue powder and glitter into the dryer before a load goes in. Again, I'm not sure what will happen here, but I'm certain it will be funny!
First of all I gotta tell you, going out with a boy who lets his mother do his washing for him is not a good sign at all. What a lazy SOB. I think you should seriously consider punishing him by making him do all of your ironing etc to make up for the ironing he hasn't had to do all this time. (If he winds up in hell, i know what he'll be doing for eternity...hehe)
So I thought long and hard about this and you only have one option: Destruction.
Operation Destruction:
So...Boyfriends mother thinks you can't do anything right? Well, stop trying! Why would you want this deranged washerwoman to like you anyway?
If there's anything I like better than sabotaging a steam iron, it's washing machine sabotage. Also, dryer and clothes line sabotage are pretty fun too.
#1 Iron sabotage
All steam irons require water, right? empty the iron of water and replace with any non standard kitchen liquid. Now I haven't tried any of the following, but I'm pretty sure you'd ruin both clothes and iron if the following were emptied into the water chamber of a steam iron:
- BBQ sauce
- vodka (what a waste - but may have added benefit of catching on fire)
- olive oil
- red wine
- honey
#2 Washing machine sabotage
The sabotage will depend on the type of detergent used. For washing powder, empty half the contents of washing powder into the bin and replace with cornflour. For liquid detergent, empty half the contents and replace with treacle.
If you have access to the washing machine after a load has finished, empty some super glue into the load. Laughter guaranteed!
#3 Washing line sabotage
Crazy glue pegs either to themselves or to the washing line. Nothing could be simpler. Or, saw through washing line till it's on it's last threads (this could be difficult for those contending with a wire washing line, but with a bit of creativity and some bulk cutters, all will be well.) The weight of the washing will snap the line and all those cornfloured and glued clothes will need to be re-washed after falling in the dirt. Aw.
#4 Dryer sabotage
Put a metric butt load of dry sand, dirt, wall paper glue powder and glitter into the dryer before a load goes in. Again, I'm not sure what will happen here, but I'm certain it will be funny!
Happy sabotaging
-D.
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